Relationships

The grass is not always greener on the other side. I know this. I know that what I crave right now (intimacy and companionship, even love) someone else is wishing for the things I have (independence, freedom, and choice). No one is ever completely happy with their lives. There is always something we need or want or hope for. It doesn’t make it any easier to know that even if we get what we want, we will want for something different later. As I get older, I see more of the details in relationships. I wonder, is marriage realistic in today’s world? I tried it once, but it didn’t take. And now, older, wiser and able to separate the romance from real life, I’m not sure I could do it again. As I write this I don’t know one person who has ever been monogamous in a relationship. Is marriage born from some religious point of view? Or from a time when people married to bear children to help work the farm. And – at any point along the way, have we always been monogamous? I think that along the path of life, we need different things from different people. I think the hope that one person can be that provider of all things, is not realistic. And, as we evolve and change over time, our needs do too. How can we expect our partner to evolve in the same way and still provide us with our changing needs? I do know that through life, we find people who resonate with us and the timing of their needs matches the timing of our own. In this kismet moment, I think it’s important to explore all possibilities. To wring all the life from this happenstance instant and take the experience and push forward, move on and learn more about yourself and what new needs this experience will define.

There is a new series on HBO called “Tell Me You Love Me”. It’s remarkably done. It is something anyone can understand, regardless of relationship status. I would recommend watching it. It could be a lens into your own world or the world you think you desire. Here is a snippet from a blog I enjoy lurking about on commenting on this show: Erika Lust

And the writing of creator and executive producer Cynthia Mort is spot on - it never flinches. She has absolutely nailed the small moments in every relationship - the not talking, the talking around, the quick, hurt expressions and forced intimacy. The series is shot with an almost uncomfortable cinema verite closeness, the camera probing ever nearer. At times dark and claustrophobic, it never once relents for wide angles or sweeping pans. It wants to be in the face of these couples, capturing what they're thinking and not saying.